Faces of U of T Medicine: Rochelle Melvin

Dr. Rochelle Melvin was a third-year medical student on call for the Trauma and Acute Care Surgery service at St. Michael’s Hospital the evening of the Danforth shooting in 2018. Dr. Melvin reflected on this night in the July 2019 issue of the Journal of the Association of American Medical Colleges. In her piece, she describes the chaos of that Sunday evening last summer and her experience with imposter syndrome.

“As I blended into the background of the trauma bay, I tried to balance being useful with staying out of the way, a calculated skill I had been working to master since my preceding months as a clinical clerk,” Dr. Melvin wrote. “I wanted to appear confident, competent, and in control. In reality, I felt like I didn't belong, and that I shouldn't witness what I was seeing. It was an unsettling feeling. At what point during training do we transition from feeling useless to useful?”

Today, Dr. Melvin is a first-year Internal Medicine resident in the Department of Medicine. Before pursuing a career in medicine, she completed a Master’s degree in Global Health and spent a year researching cardiovascular disease at St. Michael’s Hospital and volunteering with seniors with dementia. From this volunteer experience, Dr. Melvin realized that what she enjoyed most was patient contact, and knew medicine was the right career path for her.

Writer Claire Wiles sat down with Dr. Melvin to discuss her transition from medical school to residency, and overcoming imposter syndrome.

How have your first few weeks of residency been?

The first few weeks have been more challenging than I anticipated. I knew it would be challenging, but I think the transition from medical student to resident was bigger than I expected. When you’re a medical student you have a huge role in patient care, but you run a lot by senior residents and faculty, and as a resident you start doing more on your own. You do have support, but you’re encouraged to think more independently. It’s been exciting, but also scary!

Do you think it’s common among medical students and new residents to experience imposter syndrome?

I can’t say for sure, but I think so. The road to medicine wasn’t the easiest for me, but now that I’m here it’s made me even more grateful to be here. I’ve definitely experienced feeling like an imposter during my residency so far, but I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad quality to have, or a negative emotion to feel. In a way I think it gives you a bit of humility and I think that can be important. But I also think it’s a fine balance between humility and an appropriate level of confidence. I’m personally working on gaining a bit more confidence.

What was going through your head on the night of the shooting on the Danforth?

For medical students in similar trauma situations, whether they be public or not, it can be very overwhelming. You want to help, but feel like you are limited in your abilities. When I imagined being a medical student or doctor, I had pictured playing more of an active role in care. In reality, sometimes you are helping more in the background by trying to find ways to be useful to the team overall. For me, that meant collecting information and doing what I could for the team around me, to streamline things as much as possible in a difficult situation.

What advice can you give to other students experiencing imposter syndrome?

It’s normal to feel that way - you are not alone. However, just because you experience that feeling, it does not mean that you are inadequate or don’t actually belong. You’re allowed to have moments and times when you feel that way, and it doesn’t mean that you are that way. It’s also really important to reflect when you do have those experiences and debrief with others when possible. This doesn’t have to happen only during times of trauma or critical events; it can also be more informal on a daily basis.

How do you spend your time when you’re not practicing or studying medicine?

I try to spend as much time as I can with friends and family. I’m also a huge foodie. I prefer to go out for dinner, mainly because I am a terrible cook! I love trying new restaurants and food around the city. During my time off in the summer I used this as an opportunity to try new restaurants with friends and family.